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always wanted


"Oh, no. Thank you." Shiloh rubs his wrists, taking a step or two back. "For listening. He may not want you to leave if you let on that you know, hhh… Be careful." He’d singlehandedly uprooted Roz’s entire life. The least he could do was wish him well.

"I’ll be going, now. It seems like you’ve got a lot to prepare…"

"Most definitely…" He didn’t necessarily like the idea of closing his Club down, but if that meant stopping Enoch and his fowl doings then he knew it was for the better. Losing the Club would have its consequences of course, he’d have to discuss that with the people he lived with.

"Thanks for the warning…I’m sure he’ll try to trick me in some way." He would let Shiloh leave if that is what he wanted, he wouldn’t object. Roz had a lot to think about before having his big chat with Enoch. "I….I need to tell Sunny…" Unfortunately that made his heart sink, the thought of telling his partner such horrible news…he didn’t want to, but he knew he had to.

"Goodbye Shiloh."

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Finally, a reaction of some sort. Shiloh can’t help but feel a little satisfied that he’s finally shaken Roz out of his complacent calmness, even if it did get him puked on. He glances over at Tom, hunching his shoulders defensively but not releasing Roz just yet. 

"Why would I lie? What could I possibly have to gain by spreading rumors about a guardian? Enoch would kill me without a second thought if he knew, hhh… Why would I risk that by telling you something false? Maybe… maybe he had good intentions once, but it’s become a cycle of lies, death and consumption, and it can’t continue. Not when it’s spreading outside his zone. Not when people are induced into burning just so there can be more raw material. They’ll run out eventually, and then what will happen? Hhhh, you can’t listen to anything he tells you. He’s probably using your club for it, too. I don’t know how, but he would find a way…" 

Roz truly felt like the biggest fool of them all. “Fukkin dammit….” He knew he would and could never trust the Guardian ever again. “How….How dare he….How dare he use me like that!” The DJ clenched his fists. “He…He needs to stop this— I have to talk to him!— ” He quickly covered his mouth and gagged which worried his assistant. “Roz..?” Tom reached out with a concerned gesture. “No no…Tom, I need you to get Anders and Jojo…get them to empty the kitchen…Now!” The assistant nodded and hurried off.

"I’m going to speak with him okay…I….I have to do something." His brows furrowed as he rubbed his forehead and with his free hand he removed Shiloh’s grip from his shirt. "I guess…I— Just— " He sighed. "Thank you for telling me this…I’m sure he will deny everything you just told me…I’m going to get to the bottom of this an—….and close down my Club….he will NOT be allowed to continue to use me like that…”

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Shiloh strides forward, grabbing fistfuls of Roz’s shirt and yanking him downward so they were a little closer together. “Listen to me,” he hisses. “When I said he encouraged his people to cannibalize each other, I meant it literally. Maybe you’ve lived your whole life with your head shoved up your rear end, but I haven’t, hhhhh. That’s what makes us different.”

His nails dig into Roz’s shoulder. “You don’t see the memos. You don’t turn a corner and find a spectre pulling the intestines out of one of your coworkers. You don’t see burning Elsen bludgeoned to death when they probably could have been helped, all so they can get shipped off to the furnace and burned into sugar. But I guess that’s alright with you, isn’t it? As long as people are happy, who cares how they get that way? Hhh, you really are just like him.”

Roz had no reaction to being grabbed, but his eyes widened at Shiloh’s words. “W— What….” He was shocked, was what he said true? Was any of that…true? “N….no….” It couldn’t be, he didn’t want to believe any of it, but deep down he knew his uncle was pretty suspicious. He never thought to actually find out the truth, maybe it was because a part of him didn’t want to know the truth, he didn’t want to view his uncle differently. Was Enoch…really that bad…?

"He….he…says everything is….p- perfect…." Suddenly, his assistant, Tom, hurried into the room and growled furiously at Shiloh, his red hues were daggers while staring him down. He was no normal elsen, not an elsen at all. He took a step forward, but was stopped when Roz raised his hand, gesturing him to not move. "No don’t Tom….I’m fine.." Even with those words, Tom did not stop growling under his breath. "I…I want to know more…What else has my 'uncle' been hiding from me…” The DJ cringed and felt sick to his stomach and exhaled heavily, as if he was going to puke. “Fukkin shit….I feel sick…” He whispered.

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"Of course it’s not your fault. There must be something… something wrong with this place if somebody like you can succeed and be favored by a guardian who encourages his workers to cannibalize each other.” He’s too incensed to remember his fear of the guardian, spitting his words, a runnel of tarry saliva trailing from his chin. If there were consequences, let them come.

"You don’t know anything, you and your useless little dance club. Hhh, you’re all wrapped up here with your cushy job, you have no idea what real work is! Have you ever noticed that no other file in existence has a place like this? Because they don’t need one, hhhh. Nobody needs this, but maybe your guardian has a use for it. Maybe he’s just using you to drown out things he doesn’t want anybody to hear. You don’t know what kind of person he is."

He pauses, coughing to clear his throat. Carelessly he flings a clot of black mucus onto the carpet. “You could dismantle this place, if you’re as deep in debt as you claim. Stop clinging to this garbage dump. I feel sick just being here.”

"That’s nice, that’s really nice. I honestly have no idea what you are trying to accomplish, but I hope this helps you feel better, letting off steam is healthy. Just because someone is different doesn’t make them scum. Not everyone has to be like you, not everyone has to think like you. This may be a garbage dump to you, but to me its home, and home to others as well, I don’t live alone. My useless little dance club does make a shit ton of money and ya know what, thanks for the tip, I don’t know what the real work is like, I’m fukkin sheltered.”

He took another moment to pause, he didn’t want to let those curse words slip out by accident, oops. “I don’t appreciate you speaking of my uncle is such a horrid way. From your actions I can tell you need help. Yelling at me like this can’t be good for your well being.” Honestly he didn’t even want to think twice about what Shiloh said about the cannibalism, how disgusting. “If you are trying to gain something by coming here then lets discuss it. I don’t believe its an obligation to be angry, though emotions do get in the way of things, its ok that you’re mad. We can even go somewhere else, since you feel sick just by being here. I’m willing to listen, but talk instead of shout.”

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Once he hears “it would be difficult for you to understand” everything else become faint, smothered. Was this waste of flesh really going to tell him he just didn’t understand without justifying his excess in the least? There was no reason for this lavishness. No Elsen needed this much stuff. He catches something about Enoch being Roz’s uncle, which he can’t be bothered to question how a guardian can be related to any Elsen, so he says nothing of it, staring blankly until Roz is finished.

"You didn’t… you didn’t listen at all…" he murmurs. "You don’t care about anything I have to say, do you? No, no, you’re different from us. You’re special. Is that it? I don’t think you’re an Elsen at all. Elsen work. Elsen are useful. You’re nothing. You’re a resource-hogging parasite.”

"I’ve heard other elsen take their fury out on me, I’ve been yelled at before, this isn’t anything new.Yes, I’m different, I’ve been called special. All my life I’ve been mistreated, up until my fame. Sure it looks like I’m doing nothing, but how I see it, well, I believe that I’m helping those elsen that enjoy my club escape reality, even only for little awhile. I’m aware they work hard, so I understand that they would get stressed out, so why not have a place to unwind? Everything I have was given, I did not take it nor steal. All I wanted was to help, if you don’t see it that way its fine, you aren’t the only one. We all have our differences. I’m listening, but I’m deciphering what you are trying to accomplish.”

He was use to the name calling, all he was trying to do was stay as calm as possible, getting upset was pointless. “I’ve gotten angry in the past with these situations, but I realize now that was simply unnecessary. If I knew how to be more useful then sure, that would be a plus, but my uncle refuses that I get myself involved with whats happening.” Roz exhaled. “So. What would you like for me to do?”

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Shiloh stands stiffly, facing the Elsen at the bottom of the stairs. He doesn’t bother answering the other questions. It should be very apparent how he’s doing, and it’s not well. “I was told to do something I’d always wanted to do, hhh… So I came here to see you, in this… in your home. To talk to you, and tell you how much of a disgusting, frivolous waste you are.”

He pauses, swallowing. “Wh-when I asked around to find out where you lived, I was told you had three homes. Why? Why would you need that much? And for what? What do you even do?" It takes a great deal of restraint not to lash out and knock a lamp to the floor, to break one of the many pretty, unnecessary things in this place. "Hhhh, I worked for more than 25 years, which is longer than most Elsen in my file even live, doing honest, productive work, actually contributing something to society, and when I wasn’t good for it anymore, I got nothing. I got thrown out like garbage. But you, you, who provides this totally unnecessary service, lives better than any of our guardians, better than anybody else I’ve ever known…” He draws in a shaky breath, feeling his eyes sting. “I don’t understand, why is this allowed? How does this happen? Why does somebody completely useless deserve all this, all these resources that could be used for something important?”

The DJ folds his arms and lets the elsen rant, he doesn’t have much of a reaction, he’s been called worse and has worse done to him, so seeing the other’s rage did not faze him. “It would be difficult for you to understand because you are not in my position. We have different views and opinions because we are different.” He paused for a second and exhaled.

"I do indeed have three mansions, I use only one though, the other two are un necessary. I did not buy them though, they were gifts from my uncle, Enoch. I’ve wanted to give them away, but giving such a gift away would have hurt his feelings. I have been in crippling debt for about three years now, I’ve thought about giving my extra credits to other elsen, I’ve discussed it over with my uncle plenty of times, but each and every time he only tells me that everything is perfect. He says is nothing wrong and no elsen is in need of my assistance. He only wants me to stay in the club and play my music, constantly."

The Guardian uses Roz’s club as catalyst, increasing his sugar supply, having elsen burn due to not being able to handle the loud music. Roz is not like the rest and he loves the intense beats, Enoch uses him to his advantage. He’s been playing Roz for a fool for practically his whole life, nothing but lies. The DJ has no clue of his uncle’s evil deeds, why would he question the man who showers him in gifts? Of course he wouldn’t, and Enoch makes sure he stays that way.


He brings up that free hand to kiss against his fingers then rests it somewhere near his stomach. “Hehe, you just have to remember that. No matter what he says you know you have a loving home to come to at the end of the day. And lots of kisses from me ehehe.”

"Ohohoho~ That makes me excited to hurry home baby~ Every night the club closes I just want to run back to you and snuggle in the same bed. Mmmnnf~!" He nuzzles into Sunny’s shoulder.

(Source: dj-elsen)

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